Crazy Clown Airlines

When Jerry and I were moving to GTMO we were delighted when we boarded the airplane at BWI. The plane was a newer lovely Continental airplane that the government had contracted. The flight attendants were looking sharp and thanked the passengers over and over for their service to our country. They served us a lovely sandwich, free cocktails, and an in flight movie. We decided right then and there that GTMO was a pretty good gig. So imagine my shock and dismay when Jerry returned from a trip a couple of weeks ago and informed me that the good days were over.

Continental was no more and Crazy Clown Airlines took their place. I was sad but thought it really couldn’t be all that bad. So yesterday morning I get up bright and early; 5:00 a.m. I clean the kitchen, finish the laundry, feed the dogs, finish packing, and eat breakfast with Jerry. At 9:30 a.m. Jerry and I load up on the ferry and travel across the bay to the airport. I check in my bags and choose a seat right near the front of the plane. Jerry takes off and I start socializing. In GTMO you know everyone.

A couple of minutes later we hear, “Ladies and Gentlemen the flight will be delayed four hours.” A few minutes later, “the flight will be delayed for six hours.” An hour later, “Ladies and Gentlemen we will not be leaving before 8:00 p.m. so call us at 6:00 p.m. to find out when we want you to come back.”

I jump on the bus that takes you to the ferry. I just made the ferry and was home by 1:00 p.m. Jerry and I had a nice afternoon and I was even able to attend an evening ceremony for the departing XO. The new flight time was 9:30 p.m. so I boarded the 8:00 p.m. boat and headed back to the airport. A little after 12:00 a.m. we finally boarded the aircraft the old, falling apart aircraft that is. The pilot gets on the intercom and says, “sorry folks we had some major electrical problems at BWI and that set us back. I don’t know about you, but the last thing I want to hear before taking off in an airplane are the words MAJOR ELECTRICAL PROBLEMS. To make matters worse some bubble head behind me kept saying things like, “wow the pilots must be really tired.” I had a window seat and could no kidding see electrical wires above me. Imagine my surprise when the flight attendants starting juggling. OK, that didn’t really happen. I was one happy camper when the airplane touched down in Jacksonville at 2:00 a.m.

I was in the sixth row and knew it wouldn’t be long until I would be kissing the ground under me that is until the flight attendant said, “we will be unloading from the back of the plane.” Noooooooooooooo, I screamed. Then patiently waited the half hour to unload. I made my way into the terminal to pick up my rent-a-car keys. The rental place had closed and just left everyone’s keys on the counter. Everyone, except mine of course. Fortunately, I found a ride to the hotel. I finally hit the rack at 3:30 a.m. I was up at 8:00 a.m. to catch a ride to the international airport to grab another car. All and all I am really tired. I have visited Target, twice and hit the mall. I drove 75 mph on the freeway. I know; speed racer. But it’s time for bed. The four and a half hours of sleep I got last night are not working for me.